Tough Stuff

Hi all! How are you? I hope you are all ok and having a great time.

I have been trying to write a blog post for ages and I just didn’t know what to say (write). And to be honest, I still don’t. But I missed my blog and I missed being in contact with you all this way. So, here I am.

I am doing ok physically. I finished the treatments, it was rough but it’s finished. I am slowly getting strong again, I feel less and less tired, and even though there are many things still not quite all right, I hope they will be with the time passing. I am waiting for a first checkup at the end of the month to see if I’m Cancer free or not.

Mentally, I am also ok. Most of the time. When I don’t think. When I do think about my situation, I get scared. I get confused. And angry. I am not scared of death, I am scared of the possibility to not be with my husband. I want to live this life with him a bit longer. There are so many things we would love to do together. I am confused because I don’t know how to act. I don’t know how to deal with all this. I used to be a control freak, I used to try to plan everything in advance, and now I am facing a life without any possible planning or any certainty. Well, hello me! There ARE NO certainties in life! Let it go! Live in the moment!

It’s hard. But I am trying to change my way of living and thinking.

And the ‘angry’ part, well I am not sure who I’m angry with. It’s not God, I trust God. But my best friend told me that I sound angry and I trust her too. I guess I am angry with Cancer.

Sometimes I wonder if all this has some purpose. Maybe there is something I have to learn out of all this? I hope it’s not a punishment because I truly try and always have tried to be a good person. Yes I’ve made mistakes, but honestly I never did anything with bad intentions. So a lesson maybe? Or is it just a coincidence? Just a random thing?

I just don’t know!

To tell you the truth, I’m still not trying very hard to figure everything out. Most of the time I try not to think about it. My husband is my rock, he supports me, he understands why I have to escape to my studio day and night. That is what makes me sane. My art. I spend hours and hours working, thinking about what to make, how to make it, what materials to use, and that’s my sanctuary.

I don’t have children, and after the Radiation therapy I never will. The hormonal therapies for infertility I’ve received throughout the years have probably added if not caused this crap I’m dealing with right now, and I often wonder what my legacy will be? What will I leave behind after I’m gone? But one wise woman told me that it is not children or material things that matter the most when we go, it’s who we made happy. I do hope I have made (some) people happy and I hope I will make (some) people happy.

And if nothing else, there will be a ton of journals left when I’m gone. 🙂

So, I am giving away this journal:

It has different papers inside, mostly my textured handmade paper.

It is a gift from a heart.

Thank you. Thank you for reading this, thank you for being a part of my life. Even if we’ve never met or never will, it doesn’t matter. You are all part of my life and we are all connected. And I am thankful for that.

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Slow Weekend

Yep, it’s been two days of doing almost nothing. Almost. 🙂 And it felt good.

Reading books and playing computer games.

His:

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And hers:

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Meda doesn’t read books but he sure knows how to take a nap in the afternoon. 🙂

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I did nothing in the studio for the whole weekend, except just looking around, planing my next move. I have some ideas…

This and that on my messy cork board:

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A gorgeous bird my friend Mary from England made. Mary is such a great friend and has a special place in my heart. I love this bird and it’s now in the center of my work space.

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We ate cookies.  🙂

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A friend brought me some lovely laces and needle work! What a great present! I will use them for my journals.

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Last week was all about making slippers. I wanted to recycle some old T shirts and clothes that were just laying around, in hope that it would make my studio look more tidy, (but of course it all ended up looking like a bomb site, again), so I thought “why not making slippers for the first time in my life!”. The good thing is that I made something I’ve never made before, which means I’ve learned something new, which also means I now know that it’s not that easy to make a good slipper with a straight seam. lol!

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But I had to try. And as imperfect as they are, these slippers are cozy and fun. A pair for me, a pair for hubby, one for mommy, one for daddy, one for aunty… If you make too many, give them to people! 🙂

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As well as a pot holder or two.

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These are mine:

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Have a great day/night everyone!

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One Cake and Two Bags

I have been doing a million things lately, sewing, cooking, baking, spending time with friends, etc. But I didn’t photograph much, so here are the things I did manage to photograph. 🙂

A cake recipe that is so versatile and easy to transform into many things. Here is the basic recipe:

5 eggs

1 cup of oil (sunflower oil or any neutral oil)

2 cups of milk or yogurt

4 cups of white sugar

2 tsp. of baking powder

6 cups of flour

 

Mix the egg whites first, add sugar and mix until they form soft peaks, add yolks, mix some more, then add everything else and mix until combined. It’s that easy!

Now, you could add fruit to the cake and bake it; you could add cinnamon or vanilla extract, or absolutely nothing at all and make a nice spongy cake to have with milk for breakfast; if you bake it half way through and add shredded apples with a little bit of sugar, then of course finish baking, you have a different cake; maybe add some chopped nuts and raisins; make muffins, or just bake a sponge and cut it in half so that you can add cream of choice and icing on top…You see, there are so many possibilities with this recipe! You could even adjust sugar and oil content.

What I did this time was that I reduced sugar a bit, and oil, and I added whole wheat flour instead of white one. Then I added plums, sprinkled a little sugar on them, and baked it. It turned out amazing! Believe me, this recipe always works.

Cake

Cake

After the cake was eaten 🙂 my husband asked me if I could make him a bag. He wanted a messenger bag with lots of pockets. I’ve never made a messenger bag before, but that didn’t stop me. A little bit of Internet research, and we have a first not so perfect bag

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and then a second very good one!

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I am very happy with this one, and my husband loves it! He loves the first one too, but the second bag is much sturdier and has more pockets. I combined the cotton fabric with leather to give it a bit of interest, and even though my stitching is not absolutely perfect, it’s not that noticeable. I’m a perfectionist, so when I say it’s ok, then it’s ok. lol! I am so happy hubby likes it. 🙂

Have a great day everyone!

Inspired by Autumn

I still don’t like Autumn very much. But this stage, with brown and yellow and red, is amazing! I don’t want to think how it will look when all the leaves fall down and rain makes the ground look more like porridge than a colorful leafy carpet, instead I’m going to enjoy and draw inspiration from these lovely colors.

And here they are, two new shawls:

Same warp, different weft. I like. 🙂

 

New Shawls

Here they are, as promised!

These came out perfect, but…The thing is, when I weave for people I don’t know (like in this case, 30 women that I’ve never met), the best way to do it is to weave simple designs, at least that’s my experience. There are ladies who like unusual garments, but more often they want something that “goes with everything”. And to tell you the truth, even though I understand that, at the same time I don’t. Because, for me, the best thing is to have a handwoven piece that stands out a bit. A piece that makes a plane outfit totally original and noticed. But, that’s me. When I weave pieces for the shop, I weave what my inspiration commands, and I like to use many different colors and textures. And people buy them. But now, with this order, I think it would be best to make these “neutral” shawls. At least there is much greater chance for ladies to like and wear them. That is the point, right?

Weekend Fun

I’ve been so inspired by photos of gorgeous fabric beads I found on Pinterest that I just had to try making them my self. And to tell you the truth, they are so addictive I’m gonna make some more. A lot more!

Here is my first batch already made into a necklace, and I love it!

It’s fun, it’s bright, and it’s just the thing I need!

I know my beads are not perfect, but I like them anyway, and for my first try, I think they turned out pretty good. I enjoyed making them while sitting with my hubby, watching TV. It was very relaxing. So now I plan to make more in different colors because I need more necklaces, and why not having something unique and made by me! 🙂

Have a great day! 🙂

It all started with a scarf

Yes, it all started with this scarf.

Slightly ruffled, woven with cotton, viscose, wool and mohair. I am a bit obsessed with ruffles lately. 🙂 Instead of using elastic yarn, I like to play with my fabric by giving it shape by hand. That way I have more control over how finished piece should look like, but also it makes me more creative and playful. Because of that, this scarf does carry some weight in the middle section (length wise), but it’s not too much, and I think that the scarf looks lovely this way – not too ruffled, but still with some movement.

The inspiration for it came from the blue-green yarn:

After the scarf was complete, I wanted to play more with that yarn. You can’t see very well, but the yarn is shimmery, which lately became my middle name – shimmer! And since I’ve joined another Swap at Milliande’s, “Art Pin Swap”, I made some pins! White handwoven fabric, that gorgeous yarn, machine stitching and some beads. Simple yet very effective. Again, the photo is not showing them as it should, really don’t know why. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I am not a professional photographer,LOL!

Then I had to make some more! These pins are very addictive.

Ok, I had to add some purple! Another favorite color of mine. 🙂

And then, as all this wasn’t enough, I started making a journal cover!

Honestly, I love days like these when everything happens at the same time. Ideas just come to me all at once, and I keep jumping from the loom, to sewing machine,  to my desk, and repeat that a hundred times. It leaves a horrible mess in my studio, but then again, it’s a tiny studio so at least I don’t have a huge space to clean. Although, it’s getting harder and harder to move around here! 🙂

The scarf is going to be listed in my Etsy store, but the journal still needs more work. And I also started weaving something blue – again, but this time it’s more navy blue, with very interesting yarn and pattern. You’ll see it in a couple of days. 🙂